Chris' Girlfriend
by Mr. Semaj
Summary: Chris saves Connie Damico's life, and instantly becomes her new boyfriend. The new relationship causes serious problems for Meg.
1. Chapter 1

Chris' Girlfriend

Written by

**Mr. Semaj**

**ACT I**

**Scene I – Football Game**

Peter, Lois, Chris, Brian, and Meg are watching a football game between the Patriots and the Bills. Meg was wearing a sweater just for the occasion.

It is the final second with The Bills behind by only two points. Rian Lindell is about to kick a game-winning field goal. Meg thinks Lindell is a cutie.

The kick is made…

…and it's good! The Bills beat the Patriots 21-20.

Peter, having made a bet on the game, is in hysterics over the Pats' first loss of the season. Lois tries to calm him down, but Peter won't stop. Meg got up to stretch for a bit. Peter suddenly turned around and ordered Meg to take off the sweater she was wearing throughout the game.

When he snatches the sweater off, he makes a terrible discovery. Meg was secretly a Bills fan!

The Code Violet alarm set off. Lois ran to get help.

"Oh my God, I'll get the holy water!"

Peter was about to punish Meg in the worst way possible; a blow to the head with a mallet.

But Brian stopped Peter in his tracks, risking a blow himself, and tried to calm Peter down. As he reminded Peter that it was only their first loss in their past ten games, he re-directed him to the couch. Peter muttered something ominous to Meg, only to get bonked on the head with the mallet.

Brian was sedating him for his medication.

**Scene II – New Friend**

During lunchtime at James' Woods High School, Chris was interested in making new friends. Of course, the Populars won't dare talk to him.

He consulted Meg about how to deal with being an outsider. Meg was unable to give a satisfactory answer. She is still hounded by Neil.

Chris saw Neil as more confident on his outside status, and decided to hang out with him.

**Scene III – Day at the Park**

Later that day, Meg took time out in the park to ease her pain. She sat on a bench and thought to herself on that crisp, Autumn day.

"I am the yellow tulip in a field of red."

She then saw a brown pigeon fly down to where a group of gray pigeons were eating bird seeds. The brown pigeon tried to join, only to be scared away by the elite gray pigeons.

Meg called for the pigeon, which flew back in her direction. He settled on Meg's finger, where Meg mused about his under-appreciated individualism.

"You and I are one of a kind."

**Scene IV – The Hero**

Back at James Woods High, Chris begun to fancy the idea of hanging out with Neil, as they spent most of their study hall periods having fun in the Audio-Visual Lounge.

They took a stroll down the hallway to get snacks from the vending machine.

At the same time, or the next floor, a janitor had just finished mopping and waxing the hallway, but hadn't yet put up a wet floor sign.

Connie was walking down the same hallway, and hadn't noticed the floor. She slid all the way down, zipping past the janitor, and near the stairway. She bounced off the banister, and fell a full story.

Chris and Neil were eating snacks on the bottom floor, and while in conversation, Chris reached out his arms.

Connie fell in his arms!

The Populars gathered to where Chris had just saved Connie's life. Neil just happened to have his camera with him. In spite getting chocolate on Connie's rear, Chris' heroism immediately made the headlines in the school newspaper.

**Scene V – Morning Shocker**

Meg woke up the next morning and walked into the living room. She is shocked to see Connie hanging out with Chris!


	2. Chapter 2

**ACT II**

**Scene I – Meet the Family**

Connie spent time bonding with the family. Meg, still in her pajamas, joined the family by the couch as Connie told everyone about the time she and Chris spend together.

All but Meg was impressed that their relationship was working so well.

Connie admitted that she never knew that Meg and Chris were related, and on that note, begun telling embarrassing stories about Meg from school. Everyone began laughing at Meg, to Meg's disgust.

Connie gave Peter, Lois, Brian, and Stewie individual compliments. Stewie, however, did not appreciate kisses on the forehead.

**Scene II – All Access**

Chris gained special favors at school. He was allowed to sit with the Populars during lunch. They played sports together on the football turf. He even got to go into the Populars' bathroom, complete with a bathroom valet attendant.

**Scene III – Couples' Victim**

Meanwhile, Meg became a target from this newfound relationship.

During lunch, Connie tripped her, and made her spill her lunch.

During a prep rally, Connie made an embarrassing announcement about Meg. The whole assembly laughed at her as she wore a paper bag on her head.

After school, Connie wrote mean things about Meg on the bulletin board. Meg was still wearing a paper bag on her head.

Each instance garnered a laugh from Chris.

**Scene IV – Mall Talk**

Meg hung out with her friends at the mall. They discussed Meg's latest victimization from Chris' new girlfriend.

Meg explained a bit about how she and Chris were always getting under each other's skin. She flashbacked to an incident pre-dating her makeover, where she had won a hot dog-shaped balloon at a carnival. Chris jumped out of nowhere and tried to eat it. His biting into the hot dog somehow caused Meg's cap to inflate, and then burst. Chris got the hot dog, but because Meg's cap was now destroyed, she destroyed the balloon, making Chris cry.

Later on, they were joined briefly by Neil.

Meg asked how Chris had been doing, knowing that he had briefly befriended Neil. Neil told her that they have not been able to hang out together ever since Chris began dating Connie Damico.

Neil once again tried to get Meg to date him, but to no avail.

**Scene V – Movie Night**

One night, Chris and Connie are in the living room watching a movie.

Meg was in the kitchen, eating a sandwich, wondering why Chris is so interested in Connie.

Stewie, already knowing the answer to her question, joined in on insulting Meg.

When Connie walked in for a snack, he kissed Stewie on the forehead, much to his discomfort.


	3. Chapter 3

**ACT III**

**Scene I – Night Games**

The following night, Meg was at her computer one evening wrapped in her blanket when Kevin came over for a visit. He climbed into her room with a ladder.

Kevin noticed the blanket Meg was wearing. It was a red-and-blue Buffalo Bills blanket.

Kevin, a Pats fan, was disappointed in Meg's secret.

After a brief moment of shame and awkwardness, Kevin decided to play a game with Meg.

First, it involved Meg giving him a friendly back rub.

The back rub was followed by Kevin touching Meg's hands.

That tender moment quickly became a tickle fight.

Pats boy vs. Bills girl!

They kissed each other as they buried themselves under the blanket.

**Scene II – In the Woods**

Meanwhile, Chris was in his room listening to music. He got a phone call from Connie.

Chris snuck out in the middle of the night, and went on a road trip with Connie.

Connie took Chris on a surprise trip to the woods. They parked in a secluded spot near the edge of a cliff, a beautiful scene overlooking a fantastic spring gorge.

Chris asked why they are out in the woods on a clear night under a full moon. Connie, who was strangely wearing a robe, unveiled herself.

She was wearing a dark negligee underneath. She was felling particularly aroused.

"You be the pianist musician…

…and I'll be the violinist succubus.

As she crawled into Chris' lap, she whispered,

"Let's make some music."

She licked the cheek of a now-horrified Chris.

**Scene III – Where's Chris?**

Back at home, Kevin left, having finished his compensatory game with Meg. Meg, a little sweaty, wrapped her blanket around her as she went to use the bathroom.

When she passed by Chris' room, she discovered that Chris was gone.

**Scene IV – To the Rescue!**

Back in the woods, Connie chased Chris out of and around the car, demanding that Chris have intercourse with her.

"COME BACK HERE AND DO ME!"

They ran into a big, ugly rat, which unfortunately had rabies. The rat chased Chris and Connie over the hills, through the woods and into a stone corner. The frothing rat loomed in, and started nibbling at the tail of Connie's golden hair. Chris and Connie cried and screamed for help.

Just then, an owl hooted on a tree top. It swooped in.

Connie though the owl was going to attack her. Chris thought it was going to poo on him.

The owl instead tried to catch the rat, but had to fight it. The owl eventually won, and carried the rat away for supper.

Chris and Connie were both relieved, but were again scared when they hear an owls hoot growing louder and louder. They saw an ominous shadow.

That shadow turned out to be…Meg.

As they dusted themselves off, they were both asking what she was doing out and how she found them.

Meg explained how, when she began her search with Chris, she heard screaming from a far distance. On her way to the woods, she navigated her way around with her bird calls. She made friends with an owl, who guided her to their location.

Chris was very thankful for her rescue. Connie, however, concealed her gratitude with her predictable arrogance.

While she wasn't looking, Meg and Chris jacked her car back into town. Connie was left stranded in the woods, as the crickets chirped away. It was fifty-two degrees Fahrenheit.

During their ride home, it was then that Chris whispered in Meg's ear something disturbing Connie attempted to do to him.

On a pinky promise, Meg and Chris resolved never to speak of the incident again.

**Scene V – Sibling Serenity**

The next day, Chris broke up with Connie. He spent most of the day hanging out with Neil.

Connie, after an exhausting night in the woods, and walking back into town, slumped over by her locker as her friends tried to make sense of what happened.

At the end of the school day, Chris once again thanked Meg for the rescue, and apologized for not considering her feelings during his relationship with Connie.

They hugged.

Chris and Meg shared a ride home on Chris' bicycle.

**THE END**


End file.
